the light went out

I received some news from my adoption lawyer on Wednesday that I had not expected.  It has some serious consequences for my financial situation so I am not going to go into all of it here but I will say that I have spent most of the past couple of days either crying or on the verge of tears.  The light went out at the end of the tunnel and I know that it will come back on sometime but right now it looks scary down there. Financially something is going to have to change in the next couple of months. Yesterday I was able to put some band-aides on to get us through the end of the year but they can't last for the long term.

Thankfully, Reese hasn't noticed at all.  When I picked her up from preschool on Wednesday after just hearing the news, I was able to keep it together but I could tell some of the students noticed that I had been crying.  Reese on the other hand, did not notice at all.  She wanted to keep coloring on the dry-erase board and that was that.

No need to worry, the adoption is still set for November which I think is the best for both of us.  I cannot risk losing her back into the system nor do I want to miss other opportunities because we cannot leave Arizona until the adoption is finalized.  It is hard being a single mother in many ways but Reese is worth all of this.  I love her more than words will ever be able to express...

...especially when she has to dance and sing with Anastasia!