Quote

Reese: Mom, why don't they call it boy cheese?
Me: Haha! No it is GRILLED cheese not girl cheese!

Girls!

I had these two on my couch this morning!

Reminder

I keep this next to my desk at work because sometimes I need it as a reminder.

Kids are expensive...

I just received my year end statement from Reese's school that said I spent almost $7,000 on childcare last year.  All I have to say is, thank god for foster payments and my dad's help.  That figure makes me want to throw-up a little bit.

Big Girl

Where did this little chubby faced baby go?

Taken January 19, 2011

Fence

Reese has started standing at the fence at preschool to watch me as I leave her.  I turn around every two seconds to wave or say that I love her.  If I have gone too long without turning around, she will yell something to me.  She moves down the fence as I walk to the parking lot then she waves as I get into my car to leave.  When I sit down in my car to go, I cry every time.  I absolutely hate having to spend forty hours a week away from her.  As much as she tries my patience and pushes my buttons, I wish with all of my heart that I could be a stay-at-home mom so that I could have that time with her.

I wanted to put that in writing so that when she grows older and thinks about having a working mom, she knows that I would have given anything in the world to be able to stay home with her.  We have both started talking more about how much we miss each other when we are at school/work.  I think she needs to hear just how much I think about her and miss her while I am working.

Caught up

The heaviness of this week has caught up with me.  Today I found out I didn't get a job that I desperately wanted and now I cannot stop the tears.  For my family dealing with the huge loss of a little one, for my family friends who lost their father and their home, for the future I hoped I would have in a public library with financial stability.

Reese and I have the beginning stages of a cold.  She has a little bit of a runny nose and coughs at night.  I have a sore throat and now amazing pressure in my head from all the crying.  I hate crying at work but sometimes it is unavoidable.  The world is feeling heavy today.  I am ready to be at home with Reese in my pajamas.  I think it is going to be a popcorn and jellybeans kind of night.

Dealing

How do you deal with shitty news two days in a row?  
I buy books and crochet patterns.  Neither of which I need but they were both on sale, so there.  I may even go to Michael's tonight and buy some yarn I don't need instead of cleaning my house.

Maybe I have grown cold-hearted or I just don't let myself feel things like I used to.  I cannot imagine the feeling of losing a child and maybe I don't want to so I'm not letting myself.  I found out that last night my neighbor growing up and babysitter lost her dad to a fire.  And then I have to be rude to my own dad on the phone after I found out.  Let me just lock that heart up even tighter.  It is in a safe with a deadbolt and anything else you can think of to keep it secure.  If I don't let myself feel it then it will be okay.  I guess I will be the strong one.  I don't know... What do you think I can buy on Etsy?

Today

I received the horrible news that my cousin's young son passed away.  I do not want to get into the details because it is not my place but it made me hug Reese a little tighter and react a little less today.  It makes me wonder why parents who love each other and are in a place to raise a child have theirs taken away but my girls are here despite addiction and neglect.  It makes me wonder what the universe has in store for all of us and why some things have to happen.

Look Alike!

Who thinks Reese looks more like her Aunt Annie than her adoptive mother?

One Year Together

We have made it one year together.  

Reese moved to Arizona one year ago today.  

I am amazed at how much both of us have grown.  

I believe both of us are better because we have each other.  

I know that God put me on this earth so that I could be her mother.  

Year two begins now... It's going to be great.

Happy 4th Birthday, Reese!

The birthday decorations!

And the birthday presents!

Good morning, birthday girl!  She loved the streamers in her doorway.

Bubble bath!

and a new big wheel!

We had a birthday breakfast at the Wazny's house.  All the girls ate very well!

I made princess crowns for the girls!

Happy Birthday to you!

Making a wish.

Then the girls put on their dress-ups and were ready for the show!

Disney on Ice: Dare to Dream with snow-cones, popcorn and cotton candy.

We saw Tiana, Cinderella and Rapunzel's stories then all the princesses came out at the end with lots of fanfare and some fireworks.

We had a wonderful day, shared with wonderful friends.  I only wish some of my family was closer to be here for days like these.

Happy 4th Birthday to my little Reese! Four years ago today I cried in my cube at work and somewhere in my heart, I knew that my baby had just been born. I love you more than words can say!

Sneak Peek

Here's a sneak peek at what July has in store for Reese and I!

Week 1 and 2 of 2013

Reese came with me to work for the Library's extended hours on January 2nd.  This has become pretty routine but with her being at the school's winter break camp, she was a bit wired this day.  It appeared that Reese didn't eat or sleep the entire time she was at camp which made for some pretty long days...

My little Merida with her bow and arrows!

We were working on a connect the dots in Reese's room over the weekend and she stopped to say "These numbers are too small, I need our glasses."  She is just so cute in them and my prescription is so low that I don't worry.

Can you find little Reese?  All curled up during her nap.

We took down Christmas which was emotionally harder than I anticipated.  Reese kept saying "We'll do it tomorrow." If we went with that, the tree would still be up in July.  It did take us a while to get the nativity down.  We went to church on Sunday because it was Epiphany and Reese kept asked where the Wise Men were.  We sat right in front of the nativity but I think she wanted real Wise Men.  

Tuesday we went to the docs office for Reese's 4 year check up which took two hours because Reese wasn't in Arizona's database for vaccinations.  Then she had to get three shots which was not fun but she handled it like a trooper.

Unfortunately, she woke up the next morning and could only walk like Quasimodo.  I thought it was just muscle aches that you sometimes get with shots so I took her to school because I had a ton of work to get done for a group of middle schoolers who were coming the Library the next day.  Well, I got a call from her teacher when her temp went to 104 so I rushed to get her and took her in to the doc.  They were very helpful there and we saw a very nice doctor.  Reese ended up falling asleep on the examination bed and then threw up thankfully in the cup of water that I was trying to give to her.  It is so hard to see her sick.  We went home and had some rice and bananas for lunch then Reese napped.  Afterwards we packed up and went in to work so I could get things ready for the next day and Reese just curled up behind my desk and watched Cinderella.  We went home for dinner then the light switch was flipped back the other way and my little girl was sick no longer.  She woke up yesterday feeling great and didn't stop talking all day.  She was so sweet and it was really nice to have her back to normal.  Today we took in Avenger's cupcakes to school (that was all they had at the grocery store) for her birthday.  I just got an email from her teacher that somehow she got frosting on the back of her neck which after being cleaned up looks like a bruise (blue and red frosting).  It did not surprise me at all.  What a silly goose...

New Year Resolutions 2013

1. Stop snacking after Reese's bedtime.
2. Try to roll more with the punches and live in the moment.
3. Keep up the blog.
4. Try to go to church more regularly.
5. Cutback on the worrying.

Just broke #1... I had leftover movies theater popcorn, it is my weakness.

Goodbye 2012

Well 2012, you brought with you many firsts: the first time being solely in charge of another human, the first time Reese called me "mom," first trip to Disneyland, first night without pull-ups, first lost tooth, all of our first holidays and first traditions.  I began the last year of my twenties and completed tons of personal paperwork.  I was finger-printed three times and hired a lawyer for the first time.  It was a year of small triumphs and moments of "I have no idea what I am doing."  It went my very fast which scares me that the next fourteen will be just as fast and all of a sudden I will have a college student.  I am so glad I was able to send this year with Reese and that I documented most of it on here so that I can look back to the awesome quiet moments and funny things she said when she was three.

Welcome to 2013

Reese and I welcomed in 2013 by sleeping in and then heading to the $2 movie theater in Tempe to see Hotel Transylvania.  It was perfect for Reese with a hotel full of monsters.  She was a little scared at first but then settled right in and watched intently the whole time.  We got popcorn and an icee, kind of a big deal.  After the movie we stopped at Changing Hands Bookstore where I picked up a desktop calendar that I have been eyeing and Reese got a used copy of Jumanji.

 

I didn't think Reese would nap today so I suggested that we have some quite reading time in my bed.  Reese looked at about four books and then was out.  When she woke up I told her that I fell asleep and asked if she did.  She said "No, well maybe for a second."  Or an hour.

Post-nap we had fun with the big yellow (sort of brownish) ball, rode bikes then Reese played drive-thru on her bike to our kitchen window while I made dinner.

 

It was nice to be able to have two days off to get back to normal.  I am sad that the Christmas and all of the magic of the season is over.  Now I have to gear up for a birthday and all the possibilities that 2013 will bring!

New Years Eve 2012

I was able to do most of the household chores on Sunday while my dad was here to play with Reese to on New Years Eve we were able to play outside and spend some time just the two of us.

We started out with rollerskating!

Then Reese made soup!

Then fall came and we raked leaves in the backyard.

And jumped into them.

And made them fall again.

Then we had a dinner date at Pita Jungle!

She was a doll, listened well and ate well.  It is a testament to how old she is getting.  I am really glad we went!

Then we came home and had a game night.  She legitimately beat me every single time.

After Reese went to bed, I watched the ball drop while catching up on this here blog, ate cheesecake and drank the single malt scotch that I received as a Christmas gift.

Family Fun

Because my dad was able to stay for a week, Reese was able to stay home with him on Thursday and Friday while I went to work.  On Friday, they came to the Museum for a bit where we went to Fireflies, the PhxArtKids Gallery and the Thorne Miniature Rooms (which Reese claims we have not been to before!).

Then we went to lunch at Lucky Boys, a frequent drive-thru stop for Reese and I.  She has been very much wanting to eat inside but we usually grab it on the way home and I do not want to stop so we haven't.  But this day we did and despite the picture above, she was very excited!

Banana shakes and burgers!

Friday night my dad was able to watch Reese so that I could attend the Lit Lounge at SMoCA to see a coworker read.  It was very hard to leave Reese who was in tears because she didn't want me to go and I had a hard time thinking of anything but her for most of the night.  The Lit Lounge was fantastic and I recommend it for everyone.  Then we went to a "Whiskey Bar" afterwards to chat and catch up.  It was nice to have a night our with my friends but it is really hard to turn off the mom in me.

Saturday we had a slow going morning then headed to Target and Five Guys for lunch.  After a much needed nap, we went to Ikea for dinner and some shopping there.  Reese was able to go to the Ladybugland for a little bit too!

Sunday we had a big breakfast, cleaned up and played before Grandpa had to head to the airport.

It is very hard to say good-bye and I think I have heard "I want Grandpa" about ten million times since Sunday night.  I'm glad he was able to spend Christmas with us.