The Lizard

On Monday of spring break, Reese and I had to leave my office because we had pushed the limit on nap time.  Reese was just in my office crying for no reason and I ended up having to juggle her and all the bags of toys that I had brought with me.  I was just thankful that the Library is closed on Mondays and no other staff work on the same floor as the Library.  So needless to say, I was at my wits end by the time we got home and I was not feeling like a good mother.

I walked into Reese's room to get it ready for her to take a nap and when I looked down, in a tiny two inch square patch of sunlight on the floor was a lizard.  Reese was coming in and I was afraid she would scare it away but I was also afraid of her freaking out so I tried to stop her without telling her why and sneak out of the room to get a tupperware to trap it.  I came back and got him!  I sent Reese for a magazine to slide under the tupperware and that is when she figured out what was happening.  She crouched down to watch and as I slipped the magazine underneath, the lizard snuck out and ran in her direction.  I turned to see that her reaction time was not fast enough and the amazing face she made as the lizard started to crawl on her knee.  She finally leaped up screaming and the lizard took shelter under a bookshelf.  Thankfully, I was able to trap the lizard in the tupperware and take him outside.  Reese followed me outside and after I set him free she said "You stay outside, lizard. That is my room." 

I started to dispose of my evacuation tools and Reese came to me and said "Now there is a snake in my room!"  In all the mayhem the lizard had lost his tale and was grossly wiggling on Reese's bedroom floor.  I flushed that down the toilet, all the time trying to explain how lizards loose their tails to a three year old. 

It was an experience that put things back into perspective, which I was needing in that moment.  Reese commented later that I was not scared at all.  Apparently, I kept it cool on the outside while I was freaking out on the inside.  I feel like that right there is what it means to be a good parent so maybe I am not doing so bad after all.

Spring Break

Since Reese is in preschool instead of day care, she has holidays off and spring break.  It snuck up on me and thankfully my dad was coming into town to hang out with Reese for two of those days.  Monday and Tuesday, Reese came to work with me.  We had to leave for a home visit with our kinship caseworker on Monday and then get home for a nap.  (During that Monday nap, I spent an hour and a half on hold with AHCCCS, AZ health care, to try and get someone to look at the application that I had submitted in January.  Thankfully, someone did and I was able to get her health insurance in place.  Victory!)  Then on Tuesday, we came into work early and left early afternoon to make a WIC appointment and then get home for a nap.  Reese did not seem to have her listening ears on for Monday but Tuesday she was a total rock star.  I think knowing what to expect had something to do with that. 

When I was little, I remember going into work with my dad on Saturdays.  He would let me draw on his dry erase board and I thought it was the coolest thing in the world.  I can only hope that Reese has fond memories of hanging out at work with me and coloring on the dry erase board!

Tuesday night Reese was picked by my Aunt Karen and Uncle Bob to have her first overnight at their house without me.  It was so weird having a quiet house.  I proceeded to head to Walmart to finish my purchases for my foster parent home inspection and Reese's Easter basket.  I came home and drank about half a bottle of wine and read in the bathtub.  Reese spent the day out there so that I could work a full day then I drove out to pick her up.  It was so wonderful of my aunt and uncle to watch her for me and I was not worried at all about her enjoying herself.  I loved that my aunt kept sending me text updates.  The verdict is that I don't like it when Reese isn't here.  (yes, even on a night like tonight where I am up worrying)

Alford Visit

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin Kari and her wonderful family came to visit from California.  They stayed with my aunt and uncle in Surprise so Reese and I headed out on Saturday to spend the day with them.  Kari has a little girl and a little boy who Reese falls just in between age-wise.  Reese was a little shy at first then warmed right up.  For me it was so wonderful to not be the only family member threatening time-outs and having to run to the bathroom mid-conversation.  Kari and her family visited for my graduation party but it was such a crazy weekend that I don't feel like I was able to have a conversation with her so this was perfect.  The weather was beautiful so we played outside and went for a walk (the girls were having a hard time listening during the walk which was not fun for us adults).  We also played with puzzles that Kari had brought and Reese loved playing with the cars.

It is always nice being around family where I don't have to explain how we got here and I don't feel like I am being judged on my parenting.  Kari and her family just live in San Diego so I am looking forward to Reese and my first road trip to visit them, hopefully this summer!

Worrying

Today was Reese's last half-day of school.  She is going to full days so that I can get back to working full time and I know that it is the reality of our situation but I hate the idea of only getting to spend 4 hours a day with her awake.  I know that she will adjust perfectly and that it will be me with the problem but I can't help but worry.

She came to my room around 11:15pm and wanted me to says prayers again so now I am worried about the coughing that I hear coming from her room.  We did play outside for a while today and it is allergy season but I have a feeling that it is going to turn into another cold and I just hate her being sick.  I am always second guessing myself and taking her temperature.  I just want tomorrow to go well and sickness does not lend itself to a good first full day tomorrow.

Reese had been talking about eating spaghetti and meatballs all week and being the bad mother that I am feeling like, all I had was spaghettiOs.  But yesterday she told me that she wanted to buy her lunch at school instead of bring from home.  I was so proud of her because I was always to scared of not knowing what I was supposed to do to buy lunch very often.  And guess what, today was spaghetti and meat balls day!  Reese was so excited and came home with food all over her face.  Her teacher even said that she ate really well so I was pretty excited.  She is such a big and brave girl!

Well, I had fallen asleep before Reese came in just a little bit ago so I have taken the edge off which means I will be up worrying for some time to come.  I guess I should catch up on some blogs before I get back to working on this ulcer.

Quotes

Reese and I video chatted with Aunt Annie tonight at dinner and I was telling Annie about something and Reese looked over st me and said "Don't fuss about that." She doesn't know it but she will be saying that a lot to me over her lifetime. :)

We picked up a new Barbie movie from the library today and planned on having a movie night, complete with popcorn and jelly beans. I was cleaning up dinner and I told Reese to go in the living room and get out movie theater ready. She came came back a minute later and said "I'm ready! I have my crochet!" It looks like a have a crafter on my hands!

Sorry Mom, but Reese now calls you "regular Mimmie," because my Mim is her "great Mimmie." So she says "my great Mimmie or my regular Mimmie?"

Pictures

I bought a Groupon before the holidays so that we could have the girls pictures taken together.  I came down with an awful cold and ear infection so instead of taking Reese and Sophia after Christmas, I sat at an urgent care waiting to see a doc for antibiotics.  So, today I took Reese to have her pictures taken.  I wish Sophia was here so she could have been in them too but, oh well.  We did get to video chat with her today and it was awesome to watch Reese sing "If you're happy and you know it" and Sophia clap her hands.  Anywhoo, we had pictures taken in a cute peach dress that she received for her birthday.  Reese did great and now I am just worrying that I chose the wrong pictures for the wrong people.  It is hard choosing them, especially when it is lunch time and you are trying to not loose Reese or have her break everything in the store during the process. 

We picked up Subway on the way home which is such a comfort food for me.  I sometimes forget that I ate there almost daily for a significant part of my life.  I am so glad that Reese loves eating the subs and that they are healthy so that we can continue eating there.  We haven't eaten out much at all since Reese arrived so it was a nice treat.

Born Free...

Last week was all screwy with sickness so I am looking forward to a more routine week to come, though we will be very busy this week.  I started watching My So-Called Life on Netflix last night.  I have fallen in love with Jordan Catalano again and plan on purchasing plaid as soon as possible.  I am zapped right back to middle school and as much as I hated life during that phase, I am loving being back there with Angela, Rayanne and Ricky.

Quotes

Just blowing bubbles in the backyard

Reese took a longer than normal nap today and had a hard time waking up.  She came to the couch to watch a show and I asked her three or four times what she wanted to watch, with no response.  Finally, she looked up at me and said "I'm a little bit out of it."

Last night we didn't have enough time to watch all of Madagascar so I put on the special features.  We danced to the "I like to move it, move it" video then I turned it on again and went into the kitchen to take care of something.  Reese came to get me after a little while and said "Common Aunt Lindsey, these penguins just keep waving at me." 

I made orange Jello yesterday and after dinner today I asked if Reese would like some for dessert.  She ran over to the fridge, opened it up and said "Jello!  It's amazing!" like she had just found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Mush

I used to pride myself as being a very organized and on-the-ball person.  That is no longer true.  My brain is now mush... officially.  I lose things and forget things and I hate it but it seems there is no changing it.  I just took a shower and was feeling pretty good about how far I've come with being a parent then I got out of the shower and...

realized that I was still wearing my watch.  It is not waterproof, no.  It was $8 from Target but is still ticking so I guess I got a lucky break.  Goodness...

Best of Friends

Reese has become good friends with the Wazny girls over the past month and a half.  There is not a day that goes by that Reese doesn't as if we can go to Amy's house and see her friends.

In the beginning, Charlotte spent two mornings a week with us because Reese would spend those evenings at the Wazny house while I went to foster parent training class. 

We visited the park together one morning.

We played a lot of dress up.

We played a lot of kitchen.

And this is my favorite!  It is hard to see but they are playing cribbage :)

Now Reese gets to see Katherine on the playground at school which she loves.  Unfortunately, Reese has been sick this week so she hasn't been able to see her friends.  When I called Amy yesterday, both Katherine and Charlotte had to get on the phone to ask if Reese could come over to play.