No more roller-coaster

That roller-coaster I was on this week was a job offer as branch manager from a small town public library in Indiana.  Ultimately, I decided not to take the position because the salary was too low for Reese and I to live on without me worrying constantly.  It was truly the hardest decision I have had to make in a very long time.  You may think that choosing to adopt a child was hard but it was cake compared to this.   Trying to decide alone what would be better for Reese and I was so hard.  I have been saying that I wanted to be within driving distance of my family in Indiana and that I want to be a public librarian but it was terrifying to actually think about that happening.  I mourned the position because I know I would have been amazing at the job but with the expense of Reese in preschool/day care and the fact that I could not find any licensed ones close to where I would be working was a problem.  I still have moments that I worry that I made the wrong choice but then earlier I had a wonderful moment when I truly realized how good we have it in Phoenix.  Why can't Phoenix be our forever home? Why can't I just be happy where we are?  I have a job that is flexible for when I have to focus on my family and we financially need some help from my dad each month but we are in a pretty good place.  We live in an amazing home and have good friends and family that are close.  Phoenix and Arizona have so much to offer that we have not experienced yet.  I still have an Arizona bucket list of things we need to do, like the Kartchner Caverns, camping in the state park cabins, the Polar Express Railroad to the Grand Canyon, hell I have still never been to Mexico.  We are okay and with everything we have been through in the past year, maybe it is okay to just be here and be okay for a while.  The right next move won't be so hard to decide because it will just be right.  I hate being so wishy-washy and not knowing if I am making the right choice or not.  Even now I am questioning it.  Ugh.  It was nice to think about for a while, and now I know there will be offers and not only rejections.  Something else will come along but we are happy right now just where we are.  Do you hear how I am still trying to convince myself?

It is time to stay in this chapter for a while, the next will come when it was meant to.

I need this reminder again today:

Reese-isms

She was watching the water drain from the bathtub and just loved the "swirl-pool."

Hanitizer - some people call it hand sanitize, but not Reese!

Conyata - Confetti? Pinata? Why not both?

Stranger, Soldier - Reese has a really hard time keeping these two straight.  "I can't talk to a stranger or a soldier?"  "You shouldn't talk to any strangers and that includes soldiers who are strangers.  You can talk to soldiers that we know, like Genny and Glenn's dad."  She usually just sighs and gives up.

Roller-coaster

I am on a serious roller-coaster about what I should do with my life.  I am not sure what the future will bring and I am realizing how isolating it is to have to make all the decisions for Reese and I.  Thank god for some good friends who will listen and not judge when I have to burst into tears mid-conversation.  I wish my brain had an off switch.

Quote

"Ii" was the letter of the week a couple weeks ago.  At dinner we were talking about words that started with I.
Reese: Iguana, Invitation
Me: Ice cream
Reese: Baseball
Me: Do you think that starts with I?
Reese: No, it starts with B.  Some do, some don't!

Uncle Bob's visit

A couple weeks ago, Uncle Bob came to visit from Florida.  Reese couldn't wait for him to get here and she just loved the attention while he was here.  He stayed the Saturday night with us.  We had dinner at Manuel's (a Mexican restaurant) and then just hung out around the house.

 

The next day we had a slow morning and then headed out to my Aunt Karen's house.  Above is the only picture that I got of Reese and Uncle Bob, which is really unfortunate.

We played at the park, of course.  Can you find Reese up there?

Aunt Karen gave Reese her birthday present while we were there, which was a puzzle, markers and construction paper.  Reese immediately put them to good use.  Who's names can you find on the page above?

We had to have cake to celebrate Reese's birthday and then the next day we put candles on it again and celebrated Bob's birthday.

We went to the other Uncle Bob's baseball game.

It was really a great weekend with family!

Dino Week

Last week was Dino Week at Reese's school!  She loved it and we had a lot of talk about dinosaurs at home.  Here she is digging a little dino from a ball of mud. 

Here is Chloe, McKenna, and Reese in their dino hats.

 

Pictures from Mrs. V.

Sick

There is nothing that I hate more than a sick Reese...

 

She has the influenza because our doctor's visit last month was such a mess that I forgot to ask about flu shots.  It started with Charlotte then Matt got it and now Reese.  All of the ones from the Powers/Wazny clan who didn't get flu shots.  She is just miserable today.  She doesn't want me to leave her side, even if I just have to go to the bathroom.  She is running a temp around 100 and has thrown up a couple times.  I cannot tell if those barfs were necessary or just her knowing that she will get a little adrenaline rush from it that makes her feel better for a little bit.  I am seriously ready for her to feel better.  I hate feeling helpless like this.