Caught up

The heaviness of this week has caught up with me.  Today I found out I didn't get a job that I desperately wanted and now I cannot stop the tears.  For my family dealing with the huge loss of a little one, for my family friends who lost their father and their home, for the future I hoped I would have in a public library with financial stability.

Reese and I have the beginning stages of a cold.  She has a little bit of a runny nose and coughs at night.  I have a sore throat and now amazing pressure in my head from all the crying.  I hate crying at work but sometimes it is unavoidable.  The world is feeling heavy today.  I am ready to be at home with Reese in my pajamas.  I think it is going to be a popcorn and jellybeans kind of night.

Dealing

How do you deal with shitty news two days in a row?  
I buy books and crochet patterns.  Neither of which I need but they were both on sale, so there.  I may even go to Michael's tonight and buy some yarn I don't need instead of cleaning my house.

Maybe I have grown cold-hearted or I just don't let myself feel things like I used to.  I cannot imagine the feeling of losing a child and maybe I don't want to so I'm not letting myself.  I found out that last night my neighbor growing up and babysitter lost her dad to a fire.  And then I have to be rude to my own dad on the phone after I found out.  Let me just lock that heart up even tighter.  It is in a safe with a deadbolt and anything else you can think of to keep it secure.  If I don't let myself feel it then it will be okay.  I guess I will be the strong one.  I don't know... What do you think I can buy on Etsy?

Today

I received the horrible news that my cousin's young son passed away.  I do not want to get into the details because it is not my place but it made me hug Reese a little tighter and react a little less today.  It makes me wonder why parents who love each other and are in a place to raise a child have theirs taken away but my girls are here despite addiction and neglect.  It makes me wonder what the universe has in store for all of us and why some things have to happen.

Look Alike!

Who thinks Reese looks more like her Aunt Annie than her adoptive mother?

One Year Together

We have made it one year together.  

Reese moved to Arizona one year ago today.  

I am amazed at how much both of us have grown.  

I believe both of us are better because we have each other.  

I know that God put me on this earth so that I could be her mother.  

Year two begins now... It's going to be great.

Happy 4th Birthday, Reese!

The birthday decorations!

And the birthday presents!

Good morning, birthday girl!  She loved the streamers in her doorway.

Bubble bath!

and a new big wheel!

We had a birthday breakfast at the Wazny's house.  All the girls ate very well!

I made princess crowns for the girls!

Happy Birthday to you!

Making a wish.

Then the girls put on their dress-ups and were ready for the show!

Disney on Ice: Dare to Dream with snow-cones, popcorn and cotton candy.

We saw Tiana, Cinderella and Rapunzel's stories then all the princesses came out at the end with lots of fanfare and some fireworks.

We had a wonderful day, shared with wonderful friends.  I only wish some of my family was closer to be here for days like these.

Happy 4th Birthday to my little Reese! Four years ago today I cried in my cube at work and somewhere in my heart, I knew that my baby had just been born. I love you more than words can say!

Sneak Peek

Here's a sneak peek at what July has in store for Reese and I!